This story is from May 28, 2009

Emotions spice up women's sex lives

ANI / Updated: Jun 19, 2023, 17:28 IST

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Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.

Better sex life (Getty Images)

Womenwith high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a newstudy.
Emotional intelligence is theability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself andothers.
The study by a research team atKing's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. Italso suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmicdisorder.
"These findings show that emotionalintelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom.This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitivetherapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor TimSpector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London andco-author of the study, as saying.
For the study, a total of 2,035female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from18 to 83.
The registry consists of adult twinswho agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of commondisorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic andenvironmental risk factors.
All participants completedquestionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and alsoanswered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.
Researchers found a significantassociation between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation andsexual intercourse.
Women in the bottom 25 percent ofthe emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.
Lead author, psychologist AndreaBurri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have adirect impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability tocommunicate her sexual expectations and desires to herpartner.
She also said that there was apossible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.
"Emotional intelligence seems tohave a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability tocommunicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.
The results of the study appear inThe Journal of SexualMedicine.
Following this studythat women with high emotional intelligence have better sex lives, psychologistJo Maddocks and sexpert Susan Quilliam have come forward to give ladies withflagging libidos aboost.
"Everyone is born with acapacity for high levels of emotional intelligence, but this can change as we gothrough our general life, depending on what happens to us," the Sun quoted Jo assaying.
"We may lose touch withour emotions because they become too hard to address, stemming from our pastexperiences.
"We can then startto use coping methods preventing us thinking about them - such as getting angry,or staying quiet and bottling everything up - methods that can becomeaddictive.
"These mechanismsare then often used to deal with anything in our lives - includingsex.
"Building bad attitudescan also directly impact our relationships with other peopletoo.
"A negative attitude, poorbody language and extreme reactions can shape the way people treat us too (evensexual partners) - making us feel even more isolated andtroubled.
"It is acknowledgingthe emotions and stopping them from ruling our behaviour that gives us emotionalintelligence.
"The key is tomake small changes to our behaviour, rather than attempt to overhaul our wholepersonality.
"If you feelignored or left out at work, for example, try saying hello to colleagueseveryday as they walk in to gain a sense ofbelonging.
"If you findyourself getting extremely emotional, try acknowledging your feelings beforethey escalate intothis.
"Making small behaviouralchanges can really help you regain control throughout your life," Joadded.
Quilliam said thathaving control of the emotions not only means being calmer and happier, it alsomeans feelings won��t get in the way of sexlives.
"There��s a wholevariety of ways that emotions can affect your sexuality," Quilliamsaid.
"Anxious people oftencan��t let go enough toorgasm.
"While those with angerproblems, while sometimes ravenous for sex, can become so adamant on controllingtheir anger they stop feelingsexy.
"If we have control, wetend to feel confident and proud of ourselves, meaning our sex livesbenefit.
"And, as Jo explained,higher emotional intelligence means better relationships with others, which alsoapplies in the bedroom too.
"Ifwe are more willing to trust in bed, then again sex is going to be better.It��s a virtuous circle," Quilliam added.
Is SEXis the most enjoyed part of a husband and wife relation?

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